New Year, New Condo, New Plans

It's just the beginning of a new year and already so much has happened!! I guess the biggest news is that Tim and I put our condo up for the sale at the beginning of January and we received an offer the first day that it was on the market. (We prayed that God would give us a quick reply, to confirm our decision to move into a larger condo, and well, we got our answer!)

I'm already feeling nostalgic about leaving our first condo. I love being in the city, and close to my sister who lives a 5 min drive away. Being able to walk across to the pharmacy whenever I need to, and driving along the river on my way to and from work. At the same time I can look forward to living in a larger space that we can grow into, and one where we can actually entertain others and invite family over. To having a bedroom that isn't overlooking a parking lot where car alarms are constantly going off, at all hours of the day. To a location closer to Tim's work (though farther from mine!).

We've been constantly asked why we didn't just wait to buy a house. Truly, had we been able to, we would've bought a larger, 2 bedroom condo had we been able to afford it when we first got married. Also, the resale value of the condo that we want to buy will be much greater than that of the one we just sold. And for the size/type of house that I would like to someday raise a family in, we need to wait until Tim get's his Journeyman's for us to be able to afford it (3-7 years away), and we both know that we'd go crazy if we bought a house that needed lots of renovations as that is not exactly our forte. :)

So, in all honesty, we truly feel that this is the best decision for us at this moment. And with as scary and intimidating as this all is, I feel that with the quick sale of our condo, God is confirming us in our choice to move onto someplace else. We just need to wait to see what He has in store!

Missing You

Every day I wake up
I hope I'm dreamin
I can't believe this
Can't believe you aren't here
Sometimes its just hard to wake up
It's hard to just keep going
It's like I feel empty inside without you here
I would do anything, to bring you back
You were the greatest
You'll always be the greatest
I miss you
Can't wait till that day, when I see your face again

Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts, I just cant define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
I still can't believe you're gone
I'd give anything to hear half your breath
I know your still living your life, after death

Every night I pray, every step I take
Every move I make, every single day
Is a day that I get closer
to seeing you again

(Excerpts from Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You")

Rhythm

Sometimes I struggle with my inner doubts and fears and forget to place that into His hands. I forget that it’s His plans that I’m following in the first place. That He’s the one who orchestrated my life song a long long time ago. Like today… right now I’m like, bah, what am I doing here? How did I get here? And… hey, Who’s idea was this in the first place?! I’m always blown away with where He leads me to – though always excited to follow! I’m happy to be wherever He has called me to. I’m learning to call any place He leads me to “Home”. If your life is a constant adventure… that’s a good sign that you’re following closely to Him, right? So why the doubts and why the fears? Why the feelings of loneliness and anticipation? What is it about the unknown that either makes me cringe and want to curl up in a ball of cotton or jump headfirst into the wonders of something new and mystifying?

Philippians 4:11-13
Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Those GC Teleservices days...

Ok, so about 5 weeks ago I started work as an account representative at GC services. I won't lie that I'm very relieved and happy to be done my time there but I did meet some very sweet people! One girl in particular, Katie, helped make the long days pass by faster. She's the one who would sit beside me and at random times throughout the day would lean over and say in dead seriousness, "Do you know your nose is constantly growing?" We shared quite a few laughs... and I will share them with you!! Hopefully they make sense. Just remember, my job was to contact Americans regarding their credit card debt with Capitol One. All of our customers are well aware of their situations, and more often than not, there hadn't been a payment on their account for the past 6 months. Sadly many of the times it was regarding a death, bankruptcy, fraud, or sometimes the customers were just lazy and angry. So here goes... hope you enjoy!!

Cardholder: Quit calling me!
Rep: I'm sorry ma'am, but you called me.
Cardholder: I did not! I just picked up the phone downstairs and you were there!
Rep: Ma'am, I'm working inbound. Please tell me your name so that I can look up your account.
Cardholder: But you called me at home! You should know what my name is!
Rep: Ma'am, obviously this call is going no where because you keep saying I called you when I didn't. I'm going to hang up now, ok? You'll get a call from us in a few days.
Cardholder: (long pause) But I'm not at home, I'm at work!! Stop calling!!

NOT KIDDING, on my last day of work one cardholder's account had a note stating that "Cardholder often blows whistle or airhorn into phone." Basically, I didn't hear a word he said because my headset was half way off my head!!

A one sided conversation of a rep dealing with a customer who was a little hard of hearing:
Rep: Hello... HELLO... May I speak to Mark please?... Yes, hello... No... I'm looking for Mark... MARK... Pardon?... NO, I'M NOT THE ONE DELIVERING THE FOOD... IS MARK THERE?

Rep: Hello. May I speak to Rick please?
Cardholder: ...Not here.
Rep: Ok, may I ask whom I'm speaking too?
Cardholder: Uh...(long pause) Daniel. (hangs up)

Answering machine: Hi! Well, we still have a home, and a phone!! Leave us a message!!

I'm In A Hurry (And Don't Know Why)

"I'm in a hurry to get things done. Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun. All I really gotta do is live and die, But I'm in a hurry and don't know why. "

Hmmm, I've spent my day off doing nothing but contemplating how soon I should quit my job... with the lyrics of this song by Alabama stuck in my head ALL day. Hearing this song has made me feel nothing but Anxious. Anxious to move. Anxious for change. Anxious to know what's next!!

Life has slowed down for me these past few weeks. I needed an "inbetween" job for this month before I go to camp, so I applied at GC Teleservices and got hired on the spot. Training honestly wasn't that bad - I had an awesome group of co-workers and we had a hoot together... but now, two weeks later, everything has become so monotonous that I just don't know what to do. My job consists of contacting Americans regarding their credit card debt... so basically the same script for 8 hours - starting at 6 a.m. I'm not sure about you, but I don't enjoy being yelled at first thing in the morning or being bored for hours on end. One guy that I work with said to me, "This isn't a job - this is a time waster!" Also, I've realized that when I get bored I get the munchies so I've had to make a mental note to NOT walk through the cafeteria on my breaks!!

So basically I just sit there and think, wow, there's so much more to life than this! I try to see the spiritual in my job but there just is none - there's absolutely no opportunities for meaningful conversations. The thought of camp being about 3 weeks away is absolute torture... not to mention the possibility of returning to India soon after that!! (more on that subject later!) As I entertain thoughts of how soon I should quit, I start to contemplate what His plans are... and it frustrates me because I don't know. Sometimes I just want to know!! It's weird to feel sooo stuck - knowing how "alive" I've felt before. Bah!! I'm in a hurry to get on LIVING!!!

Shop till ya drop

So, this past weekend we went shopping and not just ANY shopping, I mean we did 4 whole days in Edmonton's various malls & shopping centres!! I'll admit, at first I was really set against going. I wanted to spend time with Tim, who's just barely arrived home from his trip to India, and I'll take any chance I get to see him! And after our first night walking the outlets I was pretty sure my feet would turn against me and resign from their responsibility of holding me up!! Turns out the trip was not too bad. I learnt to tone down the amount of text-messaging I did on my cell phone (for fear it would be confiscated!) and bought more than the rest of my family members! That's right: 4 tops, 2 sweaters, 1 dvd & 1 cook-book later... I'm officially broke!!

On a deeper thought level, I realized that money doesn't make me happy. At one point I truly wished that I had about a million dollars to spend on clothes, but honestly, is there any one outfit that would give me a lasting sense of... purpose? It wasn't wrong to buy that Abercrombie & Fitch sweater that I've always wanted, and it wasn't bad to not feel guilty about it either... but I was reminded of my time in India where I learnt that, because of their lack of material possessions they concentrate on what they do have, and that's family. I learnt that my dad is the most patient man in the world (you gotta hand it to him: he spent a weekend shopping with FOUR woman!!!), that my baby sis has developed into a very original and special girl, that my mom should buy more things for herself, and that my older sister's fashion taste is... extensive. We walked into one designer shop, Holt Renfrew, and I remember commenting to her that all the clothes would probably mean alot more to me if I had any sort of knowledge of fashion!!

After it was all said and done... Well that was actually lots of fun! How come we haven't done this more often?

With its incomparable natural beauty, it can be said of Panama, that for sure this is the one place on earth where the finger of God lingered a little while longer!

Abundant of butterflies and fish...

Panama is a dazzling mix of the indigenous people & the traditional European cultures. You can only love Panama's excellent blend of the modern & the traditional, the Western & the Eastern. To me, the city held a unique mix of big city "Philly" hum with a taste of Hawaiian culture. Panama is booming & growing with every heartbeat, yet the natural beauty of the country causes one to be still in order to drink it all in. Surrounded by the Pacific ocean, you feel like you're actually traveling on a large island, especially when you experience what it's like to live according to "island time"... which is the very relaxed, very laid-back way in which Panamanians like to live life!

The local cuisine holds great variety - Italian, American, Chinese, Indian, you name it! I got to experience a local dish called sancocho de gallina (chicken stew), which tastes much like chicken noodle soup only with a more distinct flavor!

Spanish is the official language of Panama, though most everyone we met was comfortable with speaking "Spanglish"... I personally find Spanish to be the most romantic language of all, and I hope to take some classes in the near future!

I'm convinced that Panamanians are one of the friendliest people one can ever hope to meet. They are gentle, fun-loving and helpful people. Perhaps the best word to describe them would be "warm". They are quick to smile, and their politeness is not stiff, but they care in such a way that you feel that you are in "good hands". I felt such acceptance from them, that after a second or third meeting, I knew I had a new friend for life!

We found that the Panamanian people are predominantly Roman Catholic, but there is a sizable Muslim and Protestant community and a small number of Hindus and Jews. They are more spiritual than us North Americans, and I also feel that could be part of their very expressive Latin culture. Their heart for worship was so refreshing!

What it means to be a Saskatchewanite

You know you are from Saskatchewan when you BBQ farmer sausage for supper in -20 degree weather!

Ever wake up and wonder where the past year went?

This past year has been filled with many challenges and opportunities. I spent half of the year at Youth With A Mission’s discipleship training school in Hawaii and as a result, was led to share Jesus with the poor in small-town India. Then I was excited to return to Philadelphia to minister to inner-city kids with my church’s youth group. After that, I was off to Ranger Lake Bible Camp where I worked as Head Lifeguard for the summer.

Currently, I’m working with LeaderImpact Group, a division of Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC). This feels like a gift from God. A good friend arranged an interview with CCC, and I have been an administrative assistant here for three months! God is good!

The mission of LeaderImpact Group is to provide Christian marketplace leaders with the confidence and resources to reach other leaders in their community with the message of Jesus. When I started work, I was challenged with an amazing opportunity to go on an International project and immediately felt God calling me to go. On March 1-11, fifty people from across Canada will head to Panama City for 10 days of training and ministry. The group will be divided into different ‘teams’; my group will minister to the ‘Young Guns’, that is, the future leaders of Panama, university students. We will do one-on-one meetings, Dinner for Friends, and outdoor presentations of the “Jesus Film.”

After much prayer I am positive that God provided this opportunity for me to serve Him. My directors and my parents are also greatly encouraging me to be part of this trip. I'm so excited to receive training on how to start spiritual conversations, lead someone to Christ and follow-up with a new believer!!

You never know what you're gonna get...

Life is really taking me on a roller coaster... & I mean this in all the best senses...
While I was in India, God supplied me with a summer lifeguard job and so after camp I was open to His leading as far as employment went and was, yeah, ..waiting. I applied to many offices and started researching receptionist-training courses as I had been told I would love that kind of job.

One day a friends father phoned me completely out of the blue. He asked me what my plans for the future were. I had no job - so, what plans?! He explained that the office next door to where he was working was seeking an administrative assistant and he was recommending me for the job! "So, think about it." He says. Then he phoned me back 5 mins later, and he had set me up with an interview that very afternoon. Before I know it, I'm filling in application forms and.. I started training as an administrative assistant for Campus Crusade for Christ the very next Monday!

I'm on probation for one month and seriously, my job description makes me swallow! Everything from communications to finances, to international and office operations... yikes!! God totally provided this job for me and it's got me wondering why... Still, I love how He never lets us have a dull moment when we are trusting Him. SO awesome! So yeah, I'm on a rollar-coaster ride with God... and lovin' every moment of it!!

My Sin

I don't know anything about you except the fact that you've been ripped off...

I have seen you standing alone and ignored in the midst of Christians, while they should've lovingly welcomed and accepted you.

I acknowledge that the church has failed in many ways and that you've suffered from it.

I have heard others judging you for your faults while believing their own sins are worthy of forgiveness.

I have witnessed the scorn, the distance, hurt, abuse, legalism and silence of churches worldwide.

I have attended churches and camps where you have been pursued as a statistic for a religion instead of a soul valued by God.

I'm guilty of thoughtlessly saying many carnal, self-centered, arrogant and prideful things that affected you in ways I was not aware of.

I'm guilty of neglecting my spiritual responsibility and misrepresenting the true loving character of God.

I don't want you to sign off the possibility of discovering the only One who can give you a connection deeper than love.

I'm desperate for you to taste the flavor of a relationship with a forgiving God, and not a rule-guided religion.

I am not promoting failure or sin, but believe that grace and restoration is found in repentence.

I would like to think that, as I am changed, the world is changed.

I feel that you have been horribly mislead and deceived because of my own
inconsistencies as one who professes to be a Christian.

And for all these things,
on behalf of myself,
as well as those before
and after me,

I apologize.